The Terrible Twos Were Nothing

I'm not sure about any of you, but I'm drowning in what I can only describe as hair pulling, feisty drama, that my now 4 year old is bringing out full force.

I think I got lucky because up until this point she was the "golden child". Seriously. She was completely potty trained by 2, basically always listened (I didn't even need to babyproof much), I didn't even know when she was teething! People warned me about the terrible twos, and the year came and went with me quite gleefully thinking "well that wasn't so bad". 

Three hit and little sneak peaks of sass from my threenager became more prominent but I was still managing. 

Now coming into year four, all I can say is holy hanna. Now keeping in mind that Lexi had just been through lots of big changes becoming a big sister to not one but two new babies. I can only rationalize her behavior. None the less as a mom with three kids under 4. This ISNT easy. 

She's been fighting me more than ever on every little thing , getting more emotional, aggressive, and out of control (I know this is also developmental too). She even slammed her door and called me a POOPY POOP! (I nearly cracked up, it was hilarious) For some of you your probably thinking "welcome to my world" but for Lexi this has been a whole new ball game. 

So I did some research, reached out to other moms, and I've decided on a system/routine we've been staying consistent with. 

Its been breaking my heart to be more strict with her (knowing that its her age and circumstances) But I'm raising these tiny humans to grow up to be respectful adults that I would actually want to be friends with.

Right now, I am mom, and I have to shove all that guilt aside for the better good. 

Here's what I've been doing. As an example I will use cleaning her room and the fight that usually causes. 

1. Focus on keeping myself calm and collected. 

2. Get down to her level and explain why she needs to clean her room, what will happen if she doesn't (usually early bedtime), and what will happen if she does (family game after dinner or park).

3. Still no go?... Offer to help by directing where to start (pick up clothes)

4. Still a no go?...Re mention consequences. Give 1 more chance. 

5. STILL no go... Then I get firm. Lights off. In bed. I offer a story if she calms down but calmly explain why this happened and that this is the consequence and that tomorrows a new day! Say I love you and walk away. She screams usually but I just let her (I check in and remind her that this is what's happening and ill see her tomorrow)

I read that giving too many chances will teach them to keep pushing those boundaries and you'll end up having to put your foot down in the end anyway. I choose a hour fight over a 5 hour fight any day!!

I make sure always to say good morning and give hugs and chat about the night before, asking her why she thought what happened went down and what we can do to make today better so we can have family time. 

Its been working great for us so far and she's already learning, but like anything its just gonna take consistency!

Parenting isn't easy. Its tests your will and patience daily. I'm in no way suggesting I know everything
(I sure as hell don't) but this is what's been working for us, maybe you've been struggling with your strong willed child also and I want you to know your not alone and your doing amazing!! Feel free to comment if you have something that works for you and your family that you've been applying, I love to learn an hear from other mamas!

 So Cheers to Five!! (I've heard it gets better!! *fingers crossed*)

Much love, Teesha.