Anxiety is daily battles within your own mind, a flow of irrational and fearful thoughts.
Anxiety is worrying for days before having to drive somewhere.
Anxiety is cancelling plans with your friends cause being in a crowd when your feeling anxious is just TOO much.
Anxiety is having a panic attack from thinking about walking into a room already filled with people.
Anxiety is constant overthinking.
Anxiety is feeling like everyone hates you.
Anxiety can pull you down and make you less of what your capable of. It can take someone with BIG dreams and make them too fearful to act. It can make being a parent (which is already a freaking hard task) seem impossible.
I've struggled with anxiety for as long as I remember and I've had to look deep within myself, and had to take time to work on many things. I can now recognize which thoughts are my anxiety and work through them. It doesn't just go away. Its not an easy "switch" ON and OFF. It's something I will forever have to live with. I now have the ability to recognize it, and I now have the strength to move with it.
I know my potential, I know what I want to do/create/accomplish but every damn day I have to shush that inner critic, that paranoid voice that always tries to tell me I'm not enough.
There are so many moments in my life where there was something I wanted to do so badly. Things like joining the choir, auditioning for the school play, applying for that job I really wanted, and putting myself out there for great things, that I NEVER did. I let the fear and anxiety control me for so long, it made me regret choices, it made me sink down and stay comfortable. Nothing great comes from just staying comfortable.
First step to learning to push past your Anxiety is recognizing it. When you feel anxious, or negative, make a conscious effort to think and ask yourself, "is this rational" "is this my anxiety" and thinking "regardless of how i'm feeling, what makes sense in this situation." "how can I help myself in this situation".
Sometimes after recognizing it. It can be small changes that may help you cope. Things like taking a break, having a few breaths. Maybe if your going somewhere plan to go early so it eliminates the stress of showing up after everyone's there. Make small adaptations to make things easier for yourself, but still DO the things your wanting to do.
Being a mother has increased my anxiety like crazy. My children are my whole world and now I not only have fears and thoughts whirring around in my head about myself. Now there are constant worries and thoughts about my children, their safety, if I did enough for them, are loved enough, did I yell too much, did I say the right thing, etc. It goes on and on and amplifies mom guilt 10x.
It crushed me when I noticed, my own anxiety holding them back from doing things, from having fun. Things like jumping on a trampoline without a net as the first example that comes too mind. Everyone else seemed laid back and comfortable, but I was watching my 4 year old jump with two other kids and I couldn't even breathe. I could picture so vividly her falling, I kept saying "be careful" where she replied for the 5th time "I am mom."
I know that there's this title of "helicopter" mom. ( I hate labeling moms. period.) I don't do this intentionally. I just physically and mentally cant cope some days. It's the most uncomfortable feeling. I fight this feeling, because I recognize it's all MY fears and that chances are she will be fine. Its not fair for my fears to scare her or stop her from experiencing things and having fun. So I let her, and I can't watch. I send my husband over (even though he thinks its unnecessary) This helps me because I feel better knowing someones watching, but shes still having a good time. It literally took all my strength to walk away and let her jump.
Having 3 kids has made these situations easier, because I'm facing them daily.
The only thing that's made it easier to push past it. Is to keep doing it.
Start small.
Facing smaller fears and keep working up. If you stop, you'll sink back down. Keep fighting. You are STRONG and BRAVE and you are meant for great things, your anxiety is just that thing in your way.
In the last few years along my business journey as well as becoming a mother, I was pushed past that comfort zone and I can honestly say I have never once regretted it. Its an incredible feeling after facing your fears, the adrenaline, the self confidence, the excitement. Its not an easy mountain to climb but man, its the most rewarding feeling afterward. YOU DID IT!
Lastly, Be open about it. More and more people are coming forward and expressing themselves. Its crazy just how many people struggle, being open not only helps people understand you, but it can help someone else who's struggling in silence.
Only good can come from being open, I also think sharing your struggles gives you a certain strength, knowing your not alone, and you are NOT weak because of this. Anxiety is a mental illness and its a struggle, but its not impossible. Its just unfortunately something you need to adapt with to live that happy, fulfilled life you desire. But its very possible. You GOT THIS.
Thanks, much love: Teesha.
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